


If anything happens, I love you

by Jura_lyn



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Crying, Drunkenness, Grief/Mourning, IRL fics, Panic Attacks, Phil Watson-centric (Video Blogging RPF), School Shootings, Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Technoblade-centric (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, Wilbur Soot-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:00:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29440113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jura_lyn/pseuds/Jura_lyn
Summary: Tommy diedthey aren't dealing with it
Relationships: Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 16
Kudos: 232





	1. Wilbur

**Author's Note:**

> It is heavily based on the movie If anything happens, I love you. Spoilers if you haven't seen it yet. Spoiler comes only in the last chapter.
> 
> yeah, I did cry when I first watched it
> 
> shut up

Wil picks his glass up and slugs half of the glass at once. He sighs and looks around in the busy bar. It’s the bar he would use to come with Niki and Schlatt. He hasn’t talked to them in a while. He knows he should stop ignoring them, they deserve an explanation. 

Everything makes his heartache. The couple who is making out in the back, the group of friends who are laughing at a joke one of them said, the lonely guy who’s throwing darts at the board, even the barman who has a fake smile and pours drinks for drunk people.

He puts his glass down and looks at his hands, they’re trembling. He can feel himself tearing up. He fights his tears. He doesn’t want to cry in front of everyone, even if he doesn’t know anyone here. He closes his eyes and whispers to himself. He can’t cry. He hasn’t cried yet, he won’t cry now. Not when everyone can see him.

He slugs the rest of the glass and he puts his coat on. The cold winter air fills his face, the sky is dark. He can feel his phone buzzing again, but he ignores it. He can’t deal with his dad, not right now. He has other things to worry about.

It doesn’t take long for a tear to eventually fall down while he’s walking through the empty streets. The tear is cold against his cheek, it even hurts a little. He doesn’t know where he’s going, he’s just walking the road aimlessly. His legs lead him, he can’t stop walking.

A second tear falls down, which is the beginning of a waterfall of tears. He cries silently, his tears freezing on his cold cheeks. He doesn’t look up from his feet, he doesn’t want to look at the world. A world without his brother.

Wil knows he shouldn’t think like that, his therapist said so. He stopped going to therapy soon after the accident, he didn’t think it was worth it for him to go anymore, his purpose in life was gone anyway. He can faintly recognize his surroundings, but he can’t put his finger on it. He doesn’t really care all that much.

He stops in front of a giant gate. On the side, he can faintly see the word ‘cemetery’. Of course, he would go here from all places, he has been going here more times than probably healthy. He pushes at the gate and it opens quietly. They forgot to lock it again.

Wil sighs and opens it enough for his body to fit through. He closes the gate slowly behind him. The cemetery is dark, more depressing than normal. If he wasn’t drunk, he would’ve been freaking out. It looks exactly like how it looks in these creepy horror movies.

He wonders if Tommy’s ghost is somewhere here around him. Maybe he’s cussing him out for being here drunk again. Maybe he would be hugging him and telling him it’s alright. Maybe other ghosts would get annoyed by his presence. Maybe they just want a bit of peace and not a crying 24-year-old. 

Wil walks into the dark, to the grave he knows has been there for the past month, the grave that’s been the only thing keeping him sane the past few days. The grave filled with flowers from people around the world. 

People who lived ten thousand miles away didn’t hesitate to come to the funeral. Everyone from the dream SMP was there, even Schlatt and Vikkstar made an appearance. No one has ever seen so many streamers in one place.

Wil hasn’t streamed ever since, nor has Techno or Phil. He hasn’t seen Tubbo in a while, he probably should go see how he’s handling everything, but seeing the young energetic boy will probably be too hard for him. Tubbo looks too much like Tommy.

He finally finds the grave he was looking for and slumps down to the ground. The tears are still falling rapidly down his face, never stopping. A sob tears away from his chest, sending a painful stab through his heart. The sobs come quicker and heavier. It’s the first time he cried ever since his death. He knows he has to realise that he won’t ever see him again.

He won’t ever see his smile again, his cackling laugh, his energetic voice. He’ll never be able to hug him again, or play Minecraft. He won’t ever be able to call him his annoying brother again. He knows he has to accept that, but he can’t. It’s too much. Everything is too much.

“I’m sorry,” He mumbles after his sobs die down a little. It’s quiet, maybe too quiet. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” He repeats. He can’t help repeat these two words over and over again. A tear falls on the grave. He gasps and puts his hand on his chest. He feels like he can’t breathe. “I’m sorry Toms,” He barely says it, it almost stuck in his throat.

He doesn’t know how long he sat there, just staring at Tommy’s picture, crying his eyes out. He doesn’t know when he stood up, still crying. He doesn’t remember walking back home until he’s standing in front of the door. He knocks quietly. His eyes are dried, but he knows his eyes are probably still blood red.

His dad looks worried. Wil can’t help but feel guilty, he knows why he’s worried. He doesn’t want to lose another son. Wil wouldn’t do that to him. He feels himself being engulfed in a warm hug. He starts crying again. The arms tighten around him. He hugs back, hugging even tighter.

He starts whispering apology after apology. He doesn’t hear what he’s saying, but he knows his dad does when he tells him that it’s alright. They fall to the ground, still in a tight hug.


	2. Techno

Techno hasn’t left his room in the past month. That’s less than the month before. He would say he should get outside. Instead of doing that, he opens hypixel. He has been on the server for the most part of the month. He liked the idea of killing everyone in bedwars. Maybe he could get a bit better than he was before.

His skills have been getting worse a bit. No better way of getting better than to play for hours on end. 

He’s in the red team. The red reminds him of Tommy. It reminds him of his laugh when Techno won a fight once again.

He stops staring and he begins to play like he always had. He didn’t even need to try. He was quick to take down most of the teams. They weren’t particularly good, none of them really were. 

He feels like he’s eighteen again, not studying, just playing Minecraft bedwars day in and day out. He remembers his dad telling him how he can’t waste his life. That wasn’t a great time in his life, he kind of ignored every single person in his life. Even Tommy. Techno shakes his head and focuses back on his game. He has to kill one team, and he would win. A piece of cake, just like always.

He should find a new game to get a bit better at. Maybe he could get a challenge for once. Everything is too easy in Minecraft.

The blue team is quickly killed. Techno doesn’t feel like he deserves to celebrate this win. It doesn’t matter anyway. The only thing he does for this world is bullying kids who just want to enjoy a bit of bedwars.

There’s a soft knock on the door. Techno looks at his door, hoping they wouldn’t come inside. He couldn’t bear anyone seeing him like this. He hasn’t showered in a month, nor has he slept in a few days. If it wasn’t for the meals his dad left in front of his door every day, he wouldn’t be eating anything either.

“I have your food here,” His dad announces. Techno waits for him to leave, but he doesn’t. He can hear his dad sighs from the other side of the door. “It’s not healthy staying in your room for this long,” Techno doesn’t dare say anything, looking at his hands. He knows it isn’t healthy, but what can he do. “Even if it’s just to take a shower,”

Techno feels guilty for not saying anything. He knows his father has it as difficult as he has, but he’s not ready to leave his room. He’ll only leave the room to kill the people who hurt his brother. 

His little brother.

His little brother, who Techno always claimed to not be related to. His little brother, who would still play Minecraft with him every single day. His brother, who could make him laugh, even though he doesn’t laugh, ever.

His brother, who he failed to protect. 

He can hear Phil sigh from the other side of the door, before putting the plate down and leaving Techno alone. Techno is immediately filled with guilt. He shouldn’t be this egoistic. His father needs him, more than Techno can give him.

He shouldn’t lock himself up, hoping to wake up to Tommy shaking him awake like a maniac. He shouldn’t hope, because he knows that he’s gone and that Techno can’t get him back. This is real life, not Minecraft. There are no infinite chances. Just one life.

He was only sixteen. He had a whole life in front of him. He shouldn’t have died. He didn’t deserve all of this.

He stands up, walking to his door quietly. He’s scared of seeing anyone. He’s scared of anyone seeing him any different than the wall he set up around him that crumbled the moment he heard the news. He opens his door quietly. He picks his plate up slowly and walks downstairs.

His dad is sat at the table. Wil isn’t there. His dad looks up when Techno walks on a stair that has made an awful sound ever since they moved there. Techno doesn’t know how he looks, he hasn’t looked at himself in ages.

His dad doesn’t say anything while he sits down next to the man and not while he starts eating the noodles quietly without saying a word. He only smiles at his son and starts eating his own meal. Techno is content when he sees the smile. 

He wants to ask for Wil, he wants to ask where he is and why he isn’t home. He knows he shouldn’t. He shouldn’t ask why Wil isn’t home when he hasn’t left his room at all. They keep eating quietly, both content with just each other’s presence. 

Techno goes back upstairs after the meal. He wants to take a quick shower, but it quickly turns into a long hot shower. The warmth of the water reminds him of Tommy for some odd reason. Maybe because Tommy could always warm him up inside when he said one of his stupid jokes. 

Looking at himself in the mirror was like looking at a different person. His pink hair has faded, he has to redo it sometime. Not now. He has deep bags under his eyes like he had been punched repeatedly. He doesn’t look like himself anymore. He looks back at his hands, his scuffed and banged up hands.

He sighs and walks back to his room with still dripping wet hair. He wishes Tommy would braid it like he used to do. He’s surprised to see his room cleaned up. It hasn’t been so clean in a long time. He huffs and walks to his computer after closing his door.

He ate every dinner with his dad after that day, he never saw Wil eat with them.


	3. Phil

Phil doesn’t know what to do anymore. It doesn’t feel like home anymore. Not only is there a ball of energy missing who could light up the room in one second, but he never saw his other sons. Techno always locks himself up in his room, and Wil is always getting drunk somewhere.

He tries so hard to find a way to get back together again, that way they could heal together. He just doesn’t know what to do. He has been eating his meals all by himself, he has been watching movies all by himself. He’s doing everything they used to do together, but alone.

He misses Tommy more than anyone could see. He tries to stay strong and not let his emotions show hoping others would talk to him, but it doesn’t seem to work. Everyone has just been ignoring him ever since Tommy’s death.

He couldn’t say he isn’t surprised when he hears Techno come downstairs, the plate still filled with food he left in front of his door still in his hands. It’s the first time he has seen him in over a month. He has big purple bags under his eyes and he would fit right in between a hoard of zombies, but he is sitting next to him, eating the noodles quietly so he doesn’t mention it.

He also doesn’t mention it when he quickly cleans Techno’s room, hoping he would survive if he would stay for another month in his room.

To his surprise, Techno came downstairs to eat dinner again the next day.

It became a habit. Techno stays in his room all day, comes down to eat dinner, and locks himself in his room again. They never say much at dinner, they never bring Tommy up. Phil doesn’t mind. 

They are talking quietly while they eat dinner, no serious talk. It was more about Minecraft than anything else. A knock could be heard from the front door. Phil looks up from his dinner, curious about who could be knocking at the door at such an hour.

He didn’t expect Wil in front of his door, drunk. Wil would always get home when he’s sleeping through his window. 

He doesn’t hesitate to hug his son, keeping him close to his chest. Wil starts to sob almost instantly. Phil hadn’t seen him crying yet, not when they heard the news, not at the funeral, never. Wil hugs him back, Phil may have let a few tears of his own spill.

He could faintly feel Techno join the hugging mess. It’s the first time since Tommy’s funeral that they were together. They decide to watch Up, Tommy’s favorite movie. It’s a movie they used to watch when he got nightmares. It’s also a movie that Phil watched over and over again on his own.

Things got a bit better afterward. They would eat dinner together and if all three were up to it, they would watch a movie. They don’t say a lot, but none of them minded. They were happy, that’s the most important thing right now.

\-----

Phil was cleaning the hallway. He hasn’t cleaned the house in a while, and a layer of dust started to appear. He picks the football up. It’s the football Phil bought a while ago for Techno’s birthday to try to get him outside more.

Phil smiles at the memory. Techno wasn’t happy with the gift. He only used it to throw the ball in Wil and Tommy their faces. He puts the ball on the shelf where it has been for the past five years. The ball falls off the shelf and bounces through the hallway. Phil sighs. He really doesn’t want to get the ball. 

He puts his cloth down and walks after the ball. The only thing he sees is Tommy’s door, open. Phil’s breath gets stuck in his throat. Tommy’s room. He slowly walks up to the door. He hesitates, but he walks inside. He hasn’t been in there, he couldn’t. 

It still looks the same as how they left it. His bed looked like it was cleaned quickly like he was in a hurry. His setup is picking up dust like a magnet. The picture of Tommy and Tubbo is still next to his computer, where it can’t be seen by the camera. His stupid random posters are still on the wall.

His music player is still in his closet. He barely used it. Phil walks up to the music player. He presses on the play button, not expecting any music to play. Instead, able sisters starts to blast out of the boxes. 

Phil walks back, touching Tommy’s bed. He sits down on the bed, tears filling his eyes. The song reminds him too much of Tommy. Tommy loved that song. He can faintly see Techno and Wil enter the room hesitantly.

He feels the two hug him closely. Phil keeps crying, he doesn’t know what else he can do.


	4. Tommy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're going back in time, the day of Tommy's death.
> 
> Just wanted to make that clear before there would be any confusion in what is going on

Tommy groans. He doesn’t understand shit. His teacher is saying some shit about math he hasn’t heard about ever that he was supposed to learn last year. He swears his teacher never explained any of this, but he seems to be the only one to think this. Maybe he should’ve paid more attention last year.

Everyone is doing something on their calculator, but Tommy can’t figure out what exactly. He puts his head in his hands and looks up to the board. Why does math have to be this complicated, where is he ever going to use this?

“Tommy, I asked you a question,” Tommy looks up at his teacher and back at the equation on the board. How is he going to explain that he doesn’t understand the subject enough to solve an equation? “I don’t know, miss,” Tommy says “I don’t understand shit about this subject,”

The teacher sighs and asks a different person, who gives the teacher the answer. Apparently, the teacher doesn’t care about the fact that he doesn’t understand anything. He puts his hand up. “Yes, Tommy?” the teacher seems annoyed at him. 

“Could I possibly go to the bathroom?” Tommy asks. He wants to cuss her out but knows better than doing that. The teacher sighs deeply before nodding and going back to her explanation. Tommy stands up and hurries out the door.

He hurries down the empty hallway. He’s lucky that the bathroom isn’t far from the classroom. He huffs annoyed at the thought of his teacher. She’s horrible, why can’t she just be normal for once. She didn’t even give him a hall pass, that’s illegal. 

Illegal may be a bit much, but whatever.

He’s about to head into the door stalls when he hears it.

A gunshot

Followed by screaming

Tommy freezes in front of the door. What the fuck. Is this a joke from the school? Another gunshot drags him out of his thoughts. He walks into one of the stalls and he sits down on one of the toilets, knees in his chest. He can feel a tear roll over his cheek.

Now’s not the time to have a panic attack

He doesn’t want to die. He doesn’t want to. He hasn’t even told anyone goodbye yet. In his mind, he knows that he probably won’t die. The odds of dying like this are fairly small, but he’s still terrified. 

He looks around, trying to find something he can use as a weapon. Literally, anything would be good. Sadly, the thing that would do the most damage would be the toilet brush, which he promised himself to never touch ever in his life. Still, he wouldn’t stand a chance.

He takes out his phone. His hands are trembling, he notes. It takes him a few attempts to type the correct password. His sight begins to become fuzzier, he can barely find his messages. He presses the first contact he finds blindly. Through his tears, he can see Wil’s contact opened in front of him.

They were chatting the whole night on the phone, even though they live a room opposite each other. He was cackling the whole night. How much he wants it to be last night. It takes him a few attempts, but eventually, he’s able to write a whole sentence.

If anything happens, I love you

It might be a bit cliché, but he doesn’t care. He needs him to know, he needs him to know that they were everything to him. He couldn’t die if he wasn’t sure that they knew.

He can hear the door of the toilet open. Tommy holds his breath. He can hear heavy footsteps walk closer to him. He closes his eyes, trying not to make a sound. He can hear one of the stalls being opened roughly. Tommy has to keep himself from whimpering.

It feels too much like in the movies, like the stories that he has been told. He can faintly see his phone light up with a notification but is quick to shut his phone again. The damage seems to already been dealt. The heave footsteps grow closer, no new stalls are being opened. The man is walking straight to his stall.

Tommy wants now more than ever to be turned invisible. He wants to call Wil and Phil and Techno and tell them that he loves them. He wants to hug them as he has never hugged anyone before. He doesn’t want to die in a filthy bathroom stall in his stupid school. 

He doesn’t want to die

He may joke about it, but he doesn’t want to go. He has so much to do, so many people to meet. He has to graduate, get his driver’s license, get drunk with his friends. He can’t die here. What will happen to his family? He can’t leave them behind, not now. Not ever.

The footsteps are in front of his stalls, he can see the black leather boots from under the door. Tommy knows, then and there, that that was it for him. He had a good run, he guesses. It surely could’ve been better, but he was satisfied.

The stall door is pushed open roughly. Tommy comes eye to eye with a man, fully clothed in black. Only his bright blue eyes are visible. The man narrows his eyes at Tommy, who’s full-on shaking, before directing his gun to Tommy’s head.

He never heard the shot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah
> 
> sad
> 
> anyway, I heard some speculations about Wilbur being resurrected today because it's the sixteenth and all. Kinda hyped if that would be true. I miss Wilbur on the server, not only as a character but also as a writer.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed
> 
> =) <3 \\(.0.)/

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write a valentine one, but I started too late and it isn't done. It may be on Valentine, it may be tomorrow, who knows.
> 
> Valentine is every day if you really think about it


End file.
